Marry Him_The Case for Settling for Mr Good Enough by Lori Gottlieb
Author:Lori Gottlieb [Gottlieb, Lori]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Amazon: B005652CAA
Publisher: Text Publishing
Published: 2010-02-08T00:00:00+00:00
âHAPPYâ DOESNâT MEAN âGAYâ
How, I asked, could I know what the right target was? Wasnât I supposed to use these profiles as screening devices? I couldnât e-mail all ten thousand men on the site. I had to make assumptions based on what they wrote.
âYes,â Evan said, âbut often your assumptions are misconceptions. All guys who like bingo are grandpas. All guys who like books on tape donât read actual books.
I knew that Evan was giving me good advice, but by now I was in a bad mood. It seemed so clear that Iâd looked for the wrong things in a man when I was younger, and now, instead of being happily married to a good guy, I was spending my Monday lunch hour going through online profiles with a dating coach. I was tired of looking for The Guy and trying to figure out what it âmeantâ that he liked bingo or âreadâ books on tape. Trying to figure out what anything âmeantâ made me dizzy and depressed.
âSee this guy?â I said to Evan, as I clicked on a profile. âThis guy looks okay. But you know what? I remember him from ten years ago. Whatâs wrong with him? Why canât he find a girlfriend? Heâs been on this site for ten years.â
âSo have youâjust not every second for ten years,â Evan replied. âYouâve had three long-term relationships in that time, and come back twice after the breakups. Maybe he has, too. Maybe he just broke up with someone heâs dated for two years. You have to stop making these . . .â
âAssumptions!â I said. âI know.â
It did seem that a lot of my assumptions were off and I was going to have to keep them in check if I wanted to meet anyone. So I went to my hotlist to show Evan the men Iâd seen some potential in. The first was a marketing guy who seemed smart and interesting and had a clever sense of humor. He had thinning salt-and-pepper hair and he was on the âwideâ side. He definitely looked older than his stated age of 46. But a message popped up that he was no longer on the site. I couldnât believe it.
âEven heâs gone!â I told Evan. âThatâs amazing. He found someone!â
âProof that some women are less judgmental than you are,â Evan said, hoping to make me laugh. âOr maybe heâs just taking a break because heâll be traveling for three weeks.â
Evan clicked on another guy. âHe seems interesting,â Evan said. He did, but his picture gave me pause.
âHe looks gay, doesnât he?â I asked.
âHe looks happy!â Evan said.
âYeah, but doesnât he look gay?â
âWith his daughter in his arms? Probably not.â
He looked totally gay to me. I donât care if heâd been married and had a kid. Maybe he got divorced because his wife left him after she discovered he was gay.
âThere you go making up these life stories based on nothing more than a profile,â Evan said. âMaybe he is gayâbut nothing in his profile screams âgayâ to me.
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